Report on “My Masculinity Helps”

Hélène Rainville

Friday, March 20^th, Shaw Auditorium filled up with just over one hundred students. It was a mandatory request from the Athletic Department for most of them. About two-thirds of the room was filled with men over to the right and the women grouped themselves together on the left. The dichotomy was obvious before the discussion began but it became a divide that would not be resolved on this evening.

Dr. Marc Grimmett, a psychologist and Associate Professor from the College of Education at NC State began with the screening of his film “My Masculinity Helps”. Based on experiences from advocates and victims, it is a North Carolina documentary created with David Hambridge, which addresses sexual assault prevention. A segment geared towards the Church and the role of male pastors with a female congregation appeared out of place. Albeit the powerful accounts, uncomfortable loud laughter was heard throughout the auditorium when a male NC State student recounted his rape as a Freshman by a Senior student.

The remainder of the session encompassed a discussion. The first question came in the form of ‘why is the topic being portrayed as a male on female crime? What about women raping men?’ Dr. Grimmett replied that this is a concern. We hear of female teachers raping their students. However, we cannot overlook the statistics that this problem is overwhelmingly a question of men assaulting women but there are definitely men who are assaulted.

Left to Right: Jertarves Jenkins, Elliott Warren,
Kiandre Thompson, and Chris Diggs

Generally, men are assaulted by other men. This fact was stated clearly by the other guest, Ze Surratt II, Victim Advocate/Volunteer coordinator for Rape Crisis Volunteers of Cumberland County. Ms. Surratt jumped in when some of the male students kept asking why it was not the woman’s fault for the rape when “she put herself in that situation”. If a woman goes to a party, drinks too much, passes out or is scantily clad, they said, why is it the fault of the man who has sex with her? The advocate added: “Let me get me a piece of that ass” is what you are thinking.

Both educators were clear that even if a person is standing in naked public, that does not give any other person permission to sexually assault them. Ms. Surratt used the analogy of the cup of tea to bring home the point. If you want to serve someone tea, you ask them if they want some but if they say no, do you force it down their throat? If the person if passed out, do you even bother to make the tea since you see they cannot drink it?

Ms. Surratt was clearly frustrated with the immature reactions in the room. It is understandable that she would feel this way given that the Rape Crisis Center regularly helps FSU students who are sexually assaulted. Overall, victims in Fayetteville range from four months of age to 96. She asked the audience if they knew the meaning to several different types of assault, from sodomy to cunnilingus. It was quite surprising that this young, mostly sexually active group could not reply to her what the “street names” to these acts are.

She explained that under North Carolina Law, rape can only occur between a man and a woman. All other acts are considered assaults. Dr. Grimmett began the evening with the recounting of the molestation of a family member as a young girl. Later, a student explained how molestation as a child led to a situation where she was raped as a college student by a student athlete. When a student drinks, it is not with the intention of inviting a rape but it is just a part of the social environment that both genders engage in. There can also be lasting consequences late into life and into other relationships and marriage.

Several young women athletes spoke out also. Their voices were mostly filled with anger, frustration and sadness. They spoke about the everyday sexual comments they encounter, the fear they live with and the lack of support. One young woman was applauded for her passionate expression to the young men on how “you want to dominate that person” and the “peer support” they receive for their behavior.

Both presenters were adamant in their message that sexual assault is not about sex but about power. This power is not just expressed in the case of a rape or violent assault. Dr. Grimmett explained that when he was a young man, he thought that it was all right to make sexual comments to women about their appearance for example. He grew and learned that behaving this way is part of the power differential between men and women. Today, he teaches how to not use power in a negative way. He encouraged the young men to hold parties where women who may have consumed too much alcohol to be protected rather than be exploited.

Ms. Latonya Graham, Division of Student Affairs, coordinated the event. Inviting Dr. Grimmett and Ms. Sarratt was a wonderful step towards the education of our student athletes. Dr. Grimmett struck the perfect tone. His understanding of the subject matter and his conversation style make him an educator extraordinaire and FSU would do well in inviting him to return to campus many more times. With gusto, Ms. Surratt brought the real deal to the evening by stating the everyday facts of this issue in our community. Together, their expertise will bring about change and we can hope that on this evening, they made a difference in the lives of our students.