Slut Shaming: An Everyday Gender Equality Problem
posted by Fatima Butt | November 25, 2015 | In OpinionSo what is slut shaming? Slut shaming is the act of criticizing women for their real or presumed sexual activity or behavior. Sexual behavior includes dressing in clothing thought to be provocative, wearing “too much” make-up, having several boyfriends or several sexual partners, or for speaking too suggestively or expressing her sexual desires.
A girl does not have to be sexually active to be called a slut. This term is so loosely used that people use it to police, judge and condemn women for being comfortable with their own sexuality. A feature specific to slut shaming, and a part of why slut shaming is so destructive for women and girls, is the fact that these same behaviors which illicit shaming towards girls go on to congratulate boys.
It is no shock that our culture and society teach girls that they must always be cautious of what they say and do. Women are frequently held to a different standard and are drowned in these impossible idealized images: that beauty is an important feature to attract the opposite sex; that they must be sexy but not too sexy; and that acquiring attention from men is a good thing, but you must not go far with this notion. If she actually starts to make sexual choices, then she is labeled a slut. If she openly speaks about taking birth control,
The biggest problem in all this is that there is no equivalent word to “slut” to punish boys for their sexual choices and behaviors. Shocker. Instead, boys are often rewarded if lots of girls appear to be interested in them, for making sexual choices for themselves, and for especially being sexual. Here is where the double standard lies, when guys behave sexually they are congratulated, but when a woman is in control of her body and choices she is labeled as a slut. Their reputations are ruined; they are scorned for the same choices.
Recently the model, Amber Rose starred in a video called, “the walk of NO shame,” a movement where women should not be humiliated or embarrassed for their sexual choices. In the video, Rose is walking home early morning in a black dress and her heels (implying these are her clothes from the night before) and people are shouting out words of encouragement as she walks, instead of perpetuating this idea that women aren’t allowed the same pleasures as men. The video seeks to end the problem of slut shaming in this patriarchal society and a protest against sexual violence.
Both men and women are guilty of participating in a culture that insists on an ideal of femininity and punishes women and girls for not living up to this ideal. We live in a society that blames the rape victim but not the rapist, by just stating that women must not wear certain clothes in order to prevent rape. In its place we need to be saying why don’t people understand consent? No means no, not matter how “inviting” she looks. If we want our daughters to live in a society where their sexual choices are to be accepted just as it accepts boys’ we must be strong advocates and accepting of women and their choices.
So whoever said boys were from Mars and girls were from Venus were wrong. They’re both from the same REALITY, so start treating them as so.
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