My Masculinity Helps

Arabhis Nicholson

She was asking for it right? She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is the stance taken by majority of the men in the audience during a Friday night movie screening for the documentary “My Masculinity Helps”. On a late Friday evening, young college students filled the Shaw auditorium for a “Movie Screening with Meaning”. My Masculinity helps is the title of the documentary viewed and discussed by Fayetteville State University students and the creator, Marc A. Grimmet, who lead the conversation addressing the role of young black males in prevention of sexual violence. During his introduction of the film, he exclaims, “ It’s very important that we’re helpful to survivors, but its also important that we prevent it [sexual violence]”. Strangely this statement did not stir the audience, who sat still and unresponsive. It wasn’t until one of the young men spoke up and inquired about certain circumstances that would give blame to the sexually violated. This peak of the conversation hit when the film concluded. While some of the audience was on the fence about the issue of sexual violence, others made their outrage vocal by objecting to the fact that any woman is responsible for her own rape or “puts herself in situations” that are conducive to her harm.

“My Masculinity helps.” What does that mean to a room of young males growing into their manhood? Being on a college campus makes these young black men a part of a specific demographic that is largely affected by this issue. I say this because the instances of sexual assault or rape often occur at college parties and on college campuses. This is an epidemic that, if pushed under the rug, will continue to do damage to the lives of victims, and allow offenders to hide.

He attitude many of the male audience members had toward the subject may have to do with how women are viewed today in society as sexual objects. Seeing women as object, thereby dehumanizing them perpetuates the idea that she is no longer a human because. Therefore, if the opportunity arises where a woman is a vulnerable and uncomfortable situation, regardless of how she feels, or what comes out of her mouth, she is clearly “asking”, non-verbally to be raped, and maybe even deserves it. We live in a slut-shaming society

The attitude many of the male audience member had toward the subject may have to do with how women are viewed today in society as sexual objects, thereby dehumanizing them perpetuates a misogynistic society. Therefore, if the opportunity arises where a woman is a vulnerable and uncomfortable situation, regardless of how she feels, or what comes out of her mouth, she is clearly “asking”, non-verbally to be raped, and maybe even deserves it. We live in a slut-shaming society where a woman is judged by the clothes she wear, which determine how she is addressed, and puts the blame on her if she was to be a victim of sexual violence.

Whether or not you agree, disagree or are on the fence, its clear that women are targeted and objectified to the point where their bodies are no-longer their own. What if it was your daughter at that party, or your niece, or your little sister who has fake friends that decided to just leave her there so that any man could have his way with her? What if had been your mother who was sexually assaulted when she attended a University, she cold be scarred for life? Or maybe you have a female friend whom you love and care for, maybe you could be that guy at the party who see’s a woman in an uncomfortable situation and decide to step in. It is your masculinity that can make a difference in preventing sexual assault and helping those who have been victim. You could never walk a mile in her shoes, but it wouldn’t hurt to sit back patiently and lend your ear, and try to understand her plight as a woman.